When I came to my first DESIRE, there was a thread on here so newbies could ask questions and get tips from DESIRE veterans. I didn’t see one this year, so I thought I’d get one started.

Here are the tips I taught in my “Setting the Intention for Your Best DESIRE” workshop last year:

Hydrate! There are 100+ reasons why it’s almost always the first tip us veterans give. Don’t forget to add electrolytes as well.

Sunscreen becomes a fetish at DESIRE. Why not make it fun and turn sunscreen application into a hot scene?

Don’t be shy! Post your wants both on the “DESIRE desires” thread (here in the FetLife group) and on the board once you get there. Tell your friends, neighbors, presenters, and mentors what you’re looking for so they can help you find it.

Attend the workshops. I may be biased as a presenter myself, but we have some pretty friggin’ amazing workshops. Go learn some new skills or brush up on the old ones. (Come to my “Rituals in Kink” class!)

Show up for your one-on-one mentoring on time. This is both advice for you – your one-on-one session is a fabulous way to get personalized help with a skill – but it’s also a request to be respectful of your mentor’s time.

Tips specific to to help you not be overwhelmed:

Create a “Need/Want/Can’t” list before coming to DESIRE. I do one for the whole event and incorporate one into each scene negotiation.

Focus on how you want to FEEL more than what you want to do. I teach this in my workshops every year and I’ve heard fabulous feedback on how it changed people’s experience.

How do you want to feel when you walk into DESIRE? How do you want to feel as you’re lounging by the pool? How do you want to feel during each scene? How do you want to feel when the weekend is over?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, left out, lonely, or confused, head to registration or the hospitality suite, there are usually people in these places who can help you out.

Newbies, got a question I didn’t answer? Veterans, anything I’m missing? Let me know in the comments below.

With excitement,


Your Ambassador Coordinator


(This post originally appeared on FetLife. To see all the comments and advice in the original post, click here.)