When I came to my first DESIRE, there was a thread on here so newbies could ask questions and get tips from DESIRE veterans. I didn’t see one this year, so I thought I’d get one started.
Here are the tips I taught in my “Setting the Intention for Your Best DESIRE” workshop last year:
Hydrate! There are 100+ reasons why it’s almost always the first tip us veterans give. Don’t forget to add electrolytes as well.
Sunscreen becomes a fetish at DESIRE. Why not make it fun and turn sunscreen application into a hot scene?
Don’t be shy! Post your wants both on the “DESIRE desires” thread (here in the FetLife group) and on the board once you get there. Tell your friends, neighbors, presenters, and mentors what you’re looking for so they can help you find it.
Attend the workshops. I may be biased as a presenter myself, but we have some pretty friggin’ amazing workshops. Go learn some new skills or brush up on the old ones. (Come to my “Rituals in Kink” class!)
Show up for your one-on-one mentoring on time. This is both advice for you – your one-on-one session is a fabulous way to get personalized help with a skill – but it’s also a request to be respectful of your mentor’s time.
Tips specific to to help you not be overwhelmed:
Create a “Need/Want/Can’t” list before coming to DESIRE. I do one for the whole event and incorporate one into each scene negotiation.
Focus on how you want to FEEL more than what you want to do. I teach this in my workshops every year and I’ve heard fabulous feedback on how it changed people’s experience.
How do you want to feel when you walk into DESIRE? How do you want to feel as you’re lounging by the pool? How do you want to feel during each scene? How do you want to feel when the weekend is over?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, left out, lonely, or confused, head to registration or the hospitality suite, there are usually people in these places who can help you out.
Newbies, got a question I didn’t answer? Veterans, anything I’m missing? Let me know in the comments below.
With excitement,
Lauren
Your Ambassador Coordinator
(This post originally appeared on FetLife. To see all the comments and advice in the original post, click here.)
Re 1-1 mentoring, do you need to sign up before the weekend?
I have lots of kinks I’ve knly had minimal chance to explore, but I get shy/intimidated when I’m around more experienced people => inaction and the feeling crap. I think 1-1 would be a great place to start and move onto bigger groups
Hi Esther,
We will be sending you an email after you register with all the information you’ll need for signing up for 1-1 mentoring.
See you soon!
Lauren
If we registered last year while at the event, will we still get an email for the mentoring and classes? The mentoring is amazing!
Hi! Yes, you will get an email for mentoring and classes. The mentoring is great and I’m glad you’re excited about it!
You are invited.
Please join me at my workshop for introverts as we explore how to approach and discuss how to pace yourself so you won’t get overwhelmed
LadyCarrie
What is your policy regarding trans attendees?
Hi Luciana,
Here’s our official policy on who can attend: DESIRE is a play party for women only. In that, we require all individuals that attend, including cisgender, transgender, transexual, intersexed, and gender-fluid individuals to SHOW UP and participate as a woman and/or in woman space. There will be people with many gender expressions present. You may see a variety of sex, bodies and genitalia at this event.
You can find out more information on our FAQs page: https://desireleatherwomen.org/faqs/